My Secret to Work-Life Balance

Last weekend the boyfriend and I took a little vacay to Cape Cod. Since neither of us works a standard 9-5 day, we figured we could leave Friday afternoon and beat the traffic. But just as I was leaving my apartment, my cell phone rang.

I didn't recognize the number, so I answered it in case it was Random House calling to offer me a six figure book deal (OK, I'm partly joking). It was a potential client returning my call, so we chatted for a few minutes while the boyfriend sat in his car waiting for me. I apologized for the wait, and we hit the road.

Then, just as we turned onto the freeway (which was already congested with weekend drivers, by the way), I got another call. It was a current client who is really hard to reach. Again, I answered and the boyfriend waited patiently.

After call #2, he made this observation: "I'm really proud of you, but I don't think I could ever be a freelance writer. How do you know when to stop working? I'd be at my computer 24/7."

Well, I am sort of at my computer 24/7 (probably more like 18/7). When I get an idea for an article, I can't resist the temptation to google the topic and see what's been covered in the past. Or I'll check my email one last time before bed, which turns into an hour long blogfest.

But even I know how important it is to set aside personal time, whether that means sneaking off to the Cape or squeezing in an afternoon workout. I actually schedule that time in Google calendar. So, in the morning, when Google sends me my agenda for the day, it reads something like this:

8-9am answer emails/send follow-ups
9-11am research for career article
11:30am phone interview with Sally Smith
noon-1pm lunch/blog reading
1-3pm write career article
3pm leave for matinee of Sex and the City
6pm writing class

Seeing the time blocked out on my calendar legitimizes it. Sure, sometimes I'll shift personal time so I can finish an email or answer the phone (as mentioned above), but having that downtime written down is really important. That's really the secret: not waiting until everything else is done before you allow yourself to rest. I've learned to schedule downtime and treat it with (almost) as much respect as I would a professional appointment.

Guest Post: 8 ways I’ve made life work as a writer and mom

Last week I guest blogged for WordCount/by Michelle Vranizan Rafter. This week, Michelle is returning the favor. Michelle writes for publications including Workforce Management, Oregon Business, and Inc.Technology.com. Since she has experience juggling a family and freelance writing, I asked her to share her insights. Who knows? This information might come in handy someday...

I didn’t set out to be a freelance writer. It’s the compromise I made in order to do it all, be a writer and a mom. It’s made for a good life, and a good career. There are days – especially during the spring newspaper awards season – when I envy friends who’re still on staff at daily papers, especially a few who’ve won those big awards. But with newspapers in their current state, I wouldn’t trade places with them anymore. Besides, freelancing has allowed me to make my own hours, be there when my kids get home from school, volunteer as classroom helper, room parent, school auction chair, Girl Scout leader and field trip chaperone. And it’s portable, as I found out when my husband took a job in a different state and my business didn’t miss a beat.

So no, I don’t regret it. But I’ve had to work hard to do both. How? Here are my 8 secrets for making life work as a writer and a mom:

Get organized. If there’s a golden rule of being a writer mom, it is this. Use whatever works for you. I’ve always been a list maker. I recently switched from paper lists to putting everything in Microsoft Outlook: Tasks manager is my friend. I mix work, family and personal to-dos, but I’ve mixed my work life and personal life for so long it doesn’t faze me.

To be a writer and a mom you don’t have to write about being a mom. They say write what you know. But a lot of other mom writers write about mom issues. Set yourself apart and write about something different – have a specialty, a beat. It could mean the difference between earning an OK income and earning a really good one. I write about technology, small business and workplace issues. I know mom writers who cover consumer electronics, RFID technology, online marketing and the legal profession.

Use your “on” time wisely. My most productive time of day is early morning, so if I have deadlines or just a pile of work to do, I get up early and plow through a couple hours before anyone else is awake. When I’m at work, I work. I never go out to lunch, watch “Oprah” or “Ellen” or even listen to music. I’ve been doing this 13 years and it took me until last year to feel OK with putting a load of laundry in the dryer during the work day.

Be OK with OK. If you’ve got kids, a house, pets, a yard, friends and family, you’re busy. You can’t afford to be a perfectionist. If you are, you’ll constantly be stressed that everything’s not just so. And just as you’ve got one part of your life sorted out another part crumbles. That’s how life is. Messy.

Be a model employee. When it comes to work, however, strive to be the best – it’s in your economic best interest. You’re not anybody’s employee, but act like one. Turn stories in on time, or notify editors in advance if you run into problems. Make sure your copy is pristine. Be the go-to freelancer that editors call with assignments. Do it and you’ll get steady work, which means you can spend less time marketing and more time with your family.

Your boss doesn’t need to know about your life. Here’s where I draw the line between life and work. Your editor doesn’t need to know you need that extra day on your story because your child’s come down with the flu. Just ask for the extension – if you’re that model freelancer your editors won’t mind if you miss a deadline here and there. Likewise, your child’s teacher doesn’t need to know you have to reschedule the parent/teacher conference because you’re running late on an assignment. Just ask to reschedule. In other words, don’t offer excuses, negotiate.

If you have to volunteer, do something you’re good at. I have three kids who’ve gone to Catholic schools that required 30 to 40 volunteer hours a year. If I can, I sign up for activities that use my skills. It’s easier for me: I do the work at home and fit it into my schedule. And the school profits by having someone with professional experience in the job. Over the years, I’ve written auction catalogs, monthly newsletter, weekly email blasts and served as the PTA secretary. One year I was communications chair for a non-profit mother-daughter service organization. I oversaw four people and was responsible for PR, a member directory, monthly newsletter, weekly newsletter and submitting article to the group’s national newsletter. The organization got my writing talent and I got to learn how to manage projects and people, good practice if I ever want a freelance editing gig.

Sometimes you can’t do it all. I retired when our third child was born, though it didn’t last long. An offer to teach news writing to graduate students brought me back. I realized how much I loved what I did and started writing again part time. A couple years later my son was diagnosed with a learning disability and I quit a second time. When it happened, I needed to be with my family more than we needed my income. I was lucky my husband had a job that could support us all. I knew I would freelance again eventually, and now I am. So get your priorities in order. The jobs will still be spinning around out there if you jump off the carousel for a while.

© 2008 Michelle V. Rafter

How Working from Home Improved My Social Life

Fellow blogger Jamie Harrop recently wrote about the downsides of working from home (to be fair, he wrote about how to avoid these downside, too). When I told people I had quit my job to write full time, the #1 concern was "what'll happen to your social life? Won't you miss going to the office?"

Now, admittedly, I am barely into week 2 of working from home, but so far it has been fantastic. Here's why...

1. Since I'm focusing on writing full time, I no longer have to rush home from the office to finish a project or send out a query. I skipped a lot of happy hours and social events when I was working full time because I knew that editors wouldn't work with me again if I missed a deadline or turned in crappy copy. Sure, I'm still spending a lot of evenings at the computer; however, being more in control of my time has allowed me to put in more face time with friends instead of bosses.
2. I'm more relaxed now. My boyfriend will be the first to tell you I'm a much better dinner companion than I was before. Instead of ranting about what So-and-So said or what they did to create hours of extra work for me, I can make small talk like a normal person. Yes, now there's the concern that the websites I write for could go bust or that an editor will make a ridiculous request at 5:10 on a Friday, but at least I'm doing what I love.
3. A lot of people are concerned about my social life, so I'm making a concerted effort to get out and see people. This gives me an excuse to go grocery shopping in the middle of day or walk to the library to research a magazine I'd like to pitch. I'm even meeting my former coworkers for lunch on Thursday. I still tend to hit the gym during peak hours (hey, a girl's gotta get some work done), but it's nice to know I can go whenever the mood strikes.

What do you think? Has working from home improved your quality of life? Or do you miss interacting with coworkers?

5 Things to Change to Save Yourself from Burn Out

Last November's post about beating burnout out was so popular that I wrote a similar post for the 9-5 (or 9-whenever) crowd at Brazen Careerist, where I'm now a regular contributor. Some of my career-related rants may not be applicable to Urban Muse readers, so I won't shamelessly plug every post, but I think we could all use a little help to stay this side of sane. I give you: 5 Things to Change to Save Yourself from Burn Out.

5 Ways to Manage Information Overload

With 2007 winding down, I’ve spent a lot of time getting organized for the new year: cleaning out my desk, reading through my old notebooks for lost ideas, and following up on checks from earlier in the year. Information overload is a reoccurring issue for me, and if I want to stick to my resolution of looking at the big picture, I’m going to have to make some adjustments. I think this will improve both my personal and professional lives, so here are some of the smaller steps I plan to take:

1. Use tags to organize my email. Those of you using Outlook can substitute folder for tag. I love that Gmail allows me to apply multiple tags, so I could cross reference the name of the publication with other identifiers like “travel” or “sources.” Whenever I get an email from a potential source, it gets tagged with the name of the publication so all of my sources are grouped together for easy reference.
2. Unsubscribe to newsletters or magazines that I don’t read. I’m writer and a voracious reader of many, many things. I figure, you never know where the next big idea might come from, so I try to read everything. But some of the e-newsletters I’ve signed up for are blatant ads, and I tend to just delete them. And subscribing to so many print mags is a big waste of paper. My new mantra? Less is more.
3. Weed out my idea files more regularly. I have multiple notebooks running at once and they also house my grocery lists and random notes to self. I know I’ve forgotten a ton of article ideas due to disorganization, so next year I hope to go through my old notebooks every month or so. Better yet, I should start different sections for “writing ideas,” “errands,” etc.
4. Manage my web surfing. I spend a lot of time checking blogs that aren’t updated. And I often get sucked in late at night and skip my bedtime because I’m so engrossed. Thanks to Google reader, I won’t have to check blogs that aren’t updated and I’ll have all my RSS feeds organized by topic. My strategy for sticking to a bedtime is to set aside an hour or two each week for commenting (that may explain why some of my comments will be belated, but I think it will help me be more productive). Another issue for me is reading an article, then trying to find it later and not remembering the right search phrase. Hopefully using appropriate tags in delicious will solve this problem.
5. Accept that I can’t do it all. I haven’t blogged in almost a week, which is rare for me and felt almost naughty. But you know what? I still got decent traffic and no one left comments about my slacking off. I’m not traveling for the holidays this year, but it felt good to give myself a little break. Fewer and better written posts are probably more useful to readers than more hastily written ones. Same goes for reading blogs. I don’t have to comment the same day a post goes live, because people are just glad to get feedback.

How do you manage information overload? Let me know!

Waiting to Exhale...

Here's what I've been working on:
Donate from Your Desktop
Curtain Rises on Blue Spruce Theatre
Confessions of a (former) Online Dater*
How I Found My Dream Apartment**

And here's what I'm currently working on:
One career article for Works by Nicole Williams
One fashion article for a friend
Two feature-length entrepreneur profiles for Experience, Inc.
Two more articles for 100 Hats
Three front of book pieces for U.25 magazine
Shopping around two personal essays and finishing two more

Oh, yeah, and did I mention that I have a week left at my marketing job so I'm tying up loose ends and traveling across country to visit the 'rents before I start my copywriting job in two weeks. I think it's time to take a little break from querying before I drive myself completely insane. Fellow writers, please remember to come up for air every once in a while. It's for your own good!


*Appeared in the April issue of Being Single magazine. They don't have much of an online presence, so I had some fun in InDesign and created a different page layout. Why? Because I can.
**Not so much a fan of this layout. Where did that lime green accent wall come from? Certainly not my dream apartment!