One of the interesting things about writing for the web is that it removes some of the barriers between writers and readers. That can be both a blessing and a curse. A few weeks ago, a post I wrote for another blog sparked a slew of nasty, mean-spirited comments. True, there was one inaccuracy that my editor fixed as soon as we discovered it (one word off, people, it happens!). But commenters kept writing things like “the author, who obviously has only a rudimentary understanding of spelling and gramar [sic]…” and “this is an abominable use of the English language!”
Frankly, I think they were more offended by the controversial subject of the post than my grammar (and I had to laugh at the irony of their own grammar and spelling), but it stung nonetheless. I kept rereading the post trying to figure out what other sections they were talking about and everything seemed clear and coherent.
If it were my own blog, I would have taken action by either 1) deleting comments that were mean-spirited and didn’t add anything to the conversation or 2) defending myself by inviting commenters to elaborate if I thought it would be instructive for myself and my readers. But since it was a large media company’s blog, I stayed mum and let them handle it. It would have been undignified for a contributor to jump down commenters’ throats. And since that blog is highly visible, it attracts lots of commenters, many of them slightly crazy.
Another time, when I wrote a personal essay on a slightly political topic for The Christian Science Monitor, I got unsolicited emails from this uber-conservative who told me I was going to hell (to be fair, I got plenty of fan mail, too, and I wrote short thank you emails to those). Every week leading up to the election he forwarded me chain emails slandering Obama and his character. I never responded, but the emails kept coming, so eventually I started using the “report spam” button!
Your turn! How have you handled reader comments? Do you ever respond? Or just leave it alone?
Hi Susan,
unfortunately there will always be people who are overly eager to criticise others and boost their own morale by pulling others down. It would be nice to simply ignore them, but it is easier said than done. I think it is important to keep things in perspective. As professionals, we strive to do our best, we have thorough quality controls in place, and yes, from time to time we do make mistakes — because we are human. Remember that the people who make scathing comments usually have low self-esteem, are probably jealous of your talent and aren't capable of putting their energy to use in a positive manner to further their own success. If you look at it from a different angle, you could interpret their nastiness as a sign of your success — nobody bothers to pull down no-hopers; they launch their attacks at the top.
Re-read your client testimonials for a quick confidence boost, and remain true to yourself. For every person that criticises you, there will be hundreds, maybe thousands that think highly of you but don't take the time to articulate their thoughts.
I haven't really answered your question but I had to offer my support as these naysayers really rub me up the wrong way!
The first time I tried to respond rationally to an offensive commenter, I quickly learned my lesson: Crazy doesn't respond well to logic, and only breeds more crazy.
These days, if I can tell someone is a troll, I ignore them, and others usually come to my defense. It kills me to refrain from defending myself, but I know, deep down, that it will do no good.
I have a Film / TV / DVD pop culture site where I write a lot of movie reviews.
I wrote a mixed (2 1/2 star out of 5) review of a film that had received mostly favorable reviews, and received some of the most vicious comments that I have ever received.
One said "I've never heard of your site, but after reading this review, now I know why." It was such a nasty comment that I swear it must have been written by the filmmaker, who is known to have a temper.
I let the comments stand for several months, even had a guest reviewer write a positive review to balance out the site, but that one negative comment spawned so many other negative comments that I eventually deleted them all. I hated "editing" the site in that way, but it stopped the comments.
Comments are usually fun, and can take the post in new directions, but sometimes, they aren't worth it.
Oy, that sounds pretty rough, but it also sounds like you're very good at distancing yourself from criticism. As writers, whether it's in our face or behind our backs, we are setting ourselves up for criticism. I am sure you get way more positive feedback than negative though. Great post!
Sonya Simone had a good article on how to handle trolls last month in CopyBlogger. You'll find it here.
went through this… their comments weren't about my post but more on my ethnicity (a very sensitive topic especially to my fellow countrymen by the way) and why i had lot of posts… i tried to reply as nicely as possible and even welcomed them but like what stephanerd said, "Crazy doesn't respond well to logic, and only breeds more crazy." i deleted one rude comment after another but the rude commenter and other rude commenters just kept on teasing me until i ended up deleting my account and sticking with a blog site that controls who can comment and who can read my posts… and a much much better blog community. it was surprising how people older and seemingly more educated than I am like to terrorize other people.
but right, we shouldn't go down to their level. we have to keep the distance.
Excellent article.
I have had a scathing troll comment in one of my blog posts (http://lakshmi.vox.com/library/post/with-three-deadlines-next-week.html). I made the mistake of responding to the comment, which obviously scored a point in favour of the troll by indicating that the comment affected me. Thankfully for me, my regular readers took on my case.
I have learned since that the moment I put up something online, it is open to people's opinion, one way or the other. The best way to deal with it is to take the good from there, and ignore the bad.
When I blogged for a client earlier in the year, there was one reader who dissed on me every single week. They published his comments because they tended to create a lot of discussion on my posts. Personally, I was intrigued that this guy cared so much about my opinions to get so angry. It created heated discussions on the site, which actually in the end, seemed to benefit me. I think any time you generate such heated responses–positive and negative you are doing something right.
Hi Susan,
I tell this to all my writing/blogging buddies. These comments aren't about YOU, it's about THEM. That sounds like a cliche, but you really have to thinkabout it veerry verry deeply. It. Is. About. Them. Something going on in their life, something happening in their career. They just reflect it on you.
My comment echos Allena's. If a person is mean-spirited in action, word or deed it is a reflection of all the misery that is going on inside of them (very sadly). This doesn't mean you can't have respectful differing points of view. It would be odd if everyone agreed with everything any of us wrote (Very odd.)They probably spread a lot of unhappiness, but they are most the tortured of all. For whatever reason…
Keep up good work. j
I don't usually get mean comments. It would probably crush me and I'd obsess over it non stop. lol
Thanks for sharing
http://www.mobilephone7.com
Susan, read my post today. It's as though we've shared a thought here.
I had a guest poster this week. She presented her side of a sensitive topic for writers. Within a few posts, there was the "how dare you!" posts. I was proud of my blog regulars – they behaved beautifully and stuck to the facts. But visitors are often the unknown variable. I should have deleted. I didn't. I felt it would have incited a bit more of a riot since it was early. At one point, though, I shot out a strong warning – simmer down or your posts are going away.
In your own blog, it's your call. On someone else's blog, they decide.
By the way, I think we may be taking the same bus to Hell after this week's blog fun. I'm sure a few opposers have already wished me there! LOL
Interestingly, I write for a political website twice a week and the comments were so nasty, inappropriate and revolting that none of the writers even read them any longer, let alone reacted to them. they have *finally* instituted a moderator which has helped tremendously. the net result is that we no longer get as many comments but the ones we do get are at least reasonable!
Delia Lloyd
http://www.realdelia.com
Wow, I wish I'd seen this post earlier when the conversation was still going on. I constantly have snarky and incredibly rude comments posted about me online. People are always insulting me by saying I don't know what I'm talking about, that I'm biased towards this product or that product, that I can't write, that I'm an idiot, that I'm uneducated and so on. Most of the time I laugh, because I can't believe people are getting so upset over what I'm writing about (technology). But I'm human, and sometimes the rudeness does get to me.
But after reading an article by sports columnist Matthew Berry, I started to realize why these people are so vitriolic: they want my job.
It's as simple as that. To them, being a writer is fun (which it is), and they believe they can do a better job than I can. Who knows? Maybe they can. But these people never take any steps to become a freelance writer, and they don't know what it takes to do this job on a daily basis.
They don't know about the hours writers need to put in, or how to deal with tough editors. They almost certainly wouldn't have any clue how to create fresh pitch and blog post ideas every day. Forget about the basics like how to construct a story, how to attribute sources and how to evaluate facts. And, most importantly, they would be shocked to realize that, by the very nature of this work, you have to take risks every single day you sit down at your desk. It's a tough job, and they think it's a party.
Now, I'm not saying others can't do this job. It's just that we've worked hard to be writers and continue to work hard so that we get better at what we do and progress our careers. Those (usually anonymous) commenters probably aren't doing that in their own fields, never mind ours.
So commenters bug me even less than they did before. I just let them insult me, and if they go particularly haywire my editors will cut them off. Besides, I've also noticed that after about five or six remarks, the commenters usually turn on each other. At that point, the whole thread devolves into a barroom brawl, and the commenters have completely forgotten about me and my article.
If you want to read Berry's article, here it is. He's a fantasy football columnist, but the first half of his piece is very accessible: http://sports.espn.go.com/fantasy/football/ffl/story?page=TMR091013