One of the challenges of being self-employed is convincing people to respect your time and your untraditional career choice. At a cookout this past weekend, it seemed like every person I met assumed I’d gone freelance after getting laid off. “So, is this a temporary thing? Do you see yourself doing this long-term?”
Uh, no. And yes.
As long as I have clients who pay me to do what I love, why would I trade the ability to choose my own projects and work on my own time for a cubicle and a commute? I understand their confusion and their concern for my finances. But freelancing is a viable career option if you’re disciplined and determined and not stuck on only making artistic or literary masterpieces (which may or may not be marketable). Most of us don’t have parents (or spouses) paying our way nor do we plan on jumping back into an 8-5 job when the economy improves. I actually like what I do, and *surprise!* I earn a decent living doing it. A lot of the people I know have one or the other, not both.
I don’t mind random strangers who just don’t get it. But I’m not sure I could have a close friend (or closer still, a boyfriend) who saw freelancing as a phase and didn’t respect my work.
What about you? Do your friends and significant others get what you do? Do you ever get tired of explaining to them that “actually, I can’t meet you for lunch/go to the beach/pick up your dry cleaning because I’m on deadline”?
Oh lordy lord. This is the big one.
A few months ago, my best friend offered to treat me to lunch because "you're not working right now." When I explained to her that freelancing was my job, she admitted that she had assumed I was just biding my time while looking for real work. I have to say: My feelings were hurt.
At least my mother and my husband seem to finally understand that I can't run to PS for them because "you're home anyway." ::sigh::
And by PS, I mean UPS.
Ouch! I'm sure she meant well, Steph, but I can see why that would hurt your feelings. Clearly she doesn't read your blog, because then she'd understand that you're a serious freelancer.
Oh boy. I agree–this is a biggie. I think that because I freelance part-time, people view it as my hobby even more than they normally would if I was pursuing it full-time. I think my family is slowly starting to get it. It helps to share how much I may have been paid for a particular piece, which may or may not be a no-no (I don't share that info all that often, but throw out a number once in awhile to prove that yes, I am making money from doing this.) It's still hard to get people to understand that I actually do need to devote time to these projects–they don't write themselves. Though I love and adore my boyfriend, I sometimes have to give up some quality time in the name of "getting stuff done". It's definitely not easy to get the message across to most people, though.
I feel very lucky in this regard – but perhaps that's because I've been freelancing for about four years now and have spent a lot of time "educating" people about what I do (translation) as well as how I do it (freelance). I've found that it can be frustrating at first, but the more you talk to people about it, the more they understand. Don't give up hope!
Oh, and it helps that my partner also freelances so we definitely see eye to eye there.
I suggest reframing such encounters to an opportunity to share and possibly teach.
@Dwayne: True but it's very easy to cross that line to lecturing, especially when you're feeling disrespected, and that doesn't endear you to anyone. Sometimse I just have to shrug it off (like when I'm talking to my Grandmother, who has no concept of the internet).
Hello Susan,
I'm a newbie to your blog and so glad I happened onto it. What a great topic. I quit my job in 1999 to write full-time. Since I don't make much money writing, I had a hard time taking myself seriously. Now everyone thinks I'm retired. My hubby knows how hard I work at writing, but not sure anyone else gets it.
Karen Walker
I agree this is a big one. Fortunately those close to me respect writing as my career. However, when I try to explain to people who don't know me it can be very frustrating. I get the "Don't worry, you'll find a job soon" or the blank look. Some people really don't get it….
@Karen: I'm glad you found my blog and that you haven't given up on your writing!
@Raechel: Amen! I know just what you mean.
It's nice to hear that someone else is going through this. I've been freelancing for a large city newspaper for over 12 years and some of my closest friends still don't take it seriously. My family and husband do because they see me at my computer, on the phone and constantly walking around the house with a notebook (especially in the summer!). However, I do have a friend who refuses to recognize that I too have a job…even though I don't have a boss to complain about or office politics to face daily. I try to remind myself instead of my great editors, the positive response I've gotten from my many feature stories and the flexibility to handle everything else for my family – practically stress free. It takes discipline, but I've had great opportunities.
I wrote a long reply but in the process of trying to enter it using google it vanished and I do not have the time to do it all again. Just to say that I soooo got your post and agreed with it!
My mother, God rest her soul, NEVER understood what I was doing. I would get calls from her at all hours of the workday, and they'd inevitably start with, "I'm sorry, sweetheart, did I wake you from a nap?" At first it bothered me; now it cracks me right up.
Yes, I get the "Can you call the plumber?" requests or "Hey, I need a ride to the station around 2…" interruptions.
My problem is slightly different. I tell them I'm a writer. Their eyes light up. Wow! How great! What do you write? Uh oh. They look like they're frozen when I say I write insurance and risk management pieces. Oh, and I ice the cake with the financial articles.
I've found that telling them up front "Oh, I write the most incredibly boring stuff – insurance and risk management – but I cash incredibly big checks!" takes the edge off.