I’m starting to think that perhaps “From the Mail Bag” could become a regular feature on this blog, a bit like 5 Q’s. Lately I’ve been getting a lot of email. Some of it is from editors assigning stories. Some of it is from editors rejecting stories. A lot of it is spam. Then there’s the “other” category. Here’s a glimpse into what I mean…
Hi Susan,
I’d like to include your article on [X] in my upcoming book. You won’t be compensated for your work, but I’d like you to cut the word count in half, sign my release form, and send both items back to me within the next 48 hours. Thanks for your help!
Sincerely,
Slightly Clueless Book Author
Dear Clueless,
Sorry – I’m getting Lasik surgery in 48 hours, so that won’t be possible. Plus, I generally get paid for reprints. Thanks for thinking of me, though!
Best,
Busy (and Slightly Blind) Writer
Too all those who emailed me about guest blogging, of course I wouldn’t be catty enough to include you in this category. You’re all fabulous, and I’m working on a personal response to all of your emails. In fact, I plan to make February “Guest Blogging” or “Reader Appreciation” Month (haven’t decided on that exact wording). Stay tuned!
Those are great offers – much like the ones offering viagra because we men really need it….
I know what you mean. My favourite “other” category email I’ve ever gotten went something like this (in almost indecipherable English), “Hi, nice site, I’m vegetarian too and will write for you. How will you pay me?”
I politely replied, letting the emailer know that I wasn’t looking for writers at this time as I write all the posts myself (which he would have seen if he’d actually read the blog), but thanked him for his support. He then replied, “Ok. Have you heard of PETA? You should check them out.”
PE-wha? Who? Nope, never heard of PETA before
PS: Best of luck with your surgery!
Actually, Amanda, I’m a vegetarian, too. And yes, I’ve heard of PETA.
Lori, excellent point!
Amazing, isn’t it? I get some of my best laughs from replies to profnet queries. How does your dating website answer my request for people who’ve written books about dating? Or the people who pitch me their book about clean eating when I’m looking for cleaning products. Yikes.